Warning: long post. as in :p
02 April 2011, 5:30 am.
I woke up feeling the urge to pee. I also felt some soreness in my abdomen. Normally, dine-deadma ko ang call of nature na ito this early at napipigilan ko naman. I would just give in to the urge around 8 am, pag feeling ko sapat na ang tulog ko at hindi na ako antok. However, this day, I couldn't ignore it. Ewan ko kung bakit, but I eventually gave in and went down to the bathroom to pee. Pagdating don, I saw bloodstain on my undies (sorry, graphic descriptions are needed :p). Medyo napaisip lang ako na maybe this is the day na nga, kaya I calmly went back to our room, texted Mader that the bloody show was here, and woke Mon up to tell him maybe we need to get ready na.
Kaso, false alarm pala. Mader was knocking at our door in less than 10 minutes and was ready to take me to the hospital. I said I didn't feel any contractions yet, so she dragged me out of our home and to the nearby park to do some brisk walking. That was before 6 am! Haha. Wala naman akong nagawa, nakaladkad niya rin ako. After 2 rounds, I could feel a heaviness in my tummy, parang I wanted to run to the bathroom again and download some stuff :p This time ako naman kumaladkad kay Mader pauwi.
We waited until lunchtime for the contractions to come, pero wala. Nakatulog pa ulit ako, and the bleeding stopped na. So yeah, false alarm talaga.
That night I went to bed thinking maybe hindi pa nga time. But the next day the same thing happened.
03 April 2011.
At around 5:00 am I woke up feeling a soreness in my abdomen. Again, I went down to the bathroom to pee, and saw blood again on my underwear. I just went back to sleep after that, but still feeling the soreness in my tummy. Parang contractions na ata ito, I thought to myself. Pero natulog pa ulit ako. 30 minutes later I woke up feeling stronger contractions, and when I got up I felt water coming out down there. That was my cue to call my OB-Gynecologist. I told her my water bag already broke, and she advised me to go to the hospital. After an hour, we were there and I was admitted at the labor room.
I didn't really know what to expect then. They made me change into a hospital gown, asked me all sorts of questions (yung iba gusto ko sagutin ng 'no comment' or I invoke my right against self-incrimination bwahahaha!), stuffed a tube of oxygen into my nose, pricked me for blood tests and IV, strapped me to a monitoring device, washed all the poop out of my large intestines (read: labatiba. eeeewwwww.) poked and poked me down there (masakit teh!) and finally said I was 4 cm na. Remember, this was my first time to be hospitalized. Medyo na-culture shock ako in all honesty!
After I was strapped to that monitoring device was when the contractions became stronger. First every 15 minutes sha and lasting a few seconds. I eventually realized when the contractions would come because the device would suddenly stop beeping, and then I would feel the pain in my abdomen. I don't know where I got the idea, but when the contractions hit me I would calm myself by inhaling and exhaling deeply and slowly. In my head I was also singing praise songs. When the contractions became more intense and closer together I began praying. I badly wanted Mon to be there with me (hindi ko naman sha mumurahin or sometheeeng) I just wanted him to hold my hand at pipilipitin ko naman ang kamay niya, maramdaman nya lang ang sakit ng labor pains ko hahaha! Wala akong kasama dun kungdi nurses and doctors, some playing Angry Birds, some Facebook-ing, some checking on me from time to time. He would only call the labor room every now and then to ask how I was doing, and the only answer he got was 5cm pa rin po. Siguro naburyong na rin sha kakahintay, naglakas-loob na sha to ask to come in and see me maybe around 10 am. Pinayagan naman sha since ako lang ang naka-admit at that time, A few hours later, may mga in-admit din na 2 mommies also in labor.
When my OB finally came by to check on me, sabi niya sa akin matulog muna daw ako para may lakas ako. Haller, pano ako matutulog kung parang pinipiga ang mga laman-loob ko every few minutes diba. Sinaksakan na nila ng pampatulog yung dextrose ko, pero all that did was to make me sleepy but still very much conscious. I think I asked the nurses what time it was every 3 hours, kasi I remember 9 am, 12 noon, 3 pm and 6 pm ang mga sagot nila sa akin. When it was already 6 pm, I even commented, 12 hours na ko nandito matagal pa ba? Nanghihina na ako at that time. I didn't get to eat or drink anything,not even water, since the previous night.
By 8 pm, medyo delirious na yata ako. The pain was getting even more intense, I was getting weaker, and I couldn't help crying out in low wails when the contractions would come. the docs poked me maybe 4 more times since I was admitted, and every time I wanted to kick them dahil masakit talaga! Apologetic naman sila and knew it hurt pero they had to check kasi if my 5 cm has progressed already. Kaso hindi pa talaga. That's when my OB again appeared and asked the other docs to call Mon. I knew then that we were preparing for CS na since 14 hours na and the baby wasn't making the expected descent down the birth canal. When Mon finally came into view, maiyak-iyak na ko sa pagod, gutom, sakit, at kung ano ano pa. Medyo nag-aalangan pa ko if we could afford the CS, pero when he said sige na, I felt so relieved dahil honestly, I couldn't stand the pain anymore. It got more intense by the hour pero wala namang nangyayari. After that, waivers were signed and I was transferred to the operating room. I don't remember when I was anesthetized, all I know was they began to undress me and strap my arms na parang ni-crucify. I couldn't see what was going on. And then I passed out.
Next thing I know, my OB placed Yohann near my face and I woke up to his cries. I smiled weakly and passed out again. Then I felt myself being wheeled to another room, the recovery room, where the anesthesia wore off and all I did was ask the nurse or intern when I could be moved to our room. I knew Mon was already waiting for me and I wanted to see him and the baby na rin. I was told that I'd have to be able to move my legs first before I could be transferred to our room. Legs? Anong legs? That's when I realized hindi ko pala maigalaw ang legs ko dahil sa anesthesia. Haha. So the next few hours I spent trying to lift my legs to no avail. It wasn't until 3 am that I was able to move them, at nailipat na rin ako sa room namin.
Once there, I asked to see Yohann naman. I was told I would be able to see him once I was strong enough to feed him. So I got to see Yohann around 36 hours after pa. When I was wheeled into the breastfeeding area, I got to hold him and just stared at him for a long time. Speechless ako. All I managed to say in my head was, pano nagkasya sa chan ko to?! Hahaha. He was a bit big - 51 cm and 7 lbs 6 oz at birth.
We finally went home 4 days after pa. When we got to our room, dun lang nag-sink in sa akin - nanay na ako and this little bebe boy was my bebe! Dun na ko napaiyak. Nakakamangha lang na totoo palang nanganak ako at ito na nga ang bebe boy sa tabi ko :)
Until now, I still have flashbacks of the longest 15 hours of my life. Naalala ko pa yung labor pains, yung waiting time, yung moments na kala ko di ko na kakayanin yung sakit. But when I see the little bebe feeding off my breast, natatawa na lang ako at nagpapasalamat because he really is worth all that and more. Kahit anong sakit, kahit anong gastos, pag nginingitian na niya ko kahit tulog sha feeling ko kulang pa lahat nang yon for us to deserve to be his parents :)