feelings...nothing more than feelings..

I am a kaleidoscope of emotions at the moment. 

I'm excited and anxious, thankful and just a wee bit worried, serious and carefree at the same time; plus smitten, insatiably curious, frustrated, sometimes afraid, uneasy, hopeful, easily touched and easily pleased. I guess it's partly owing to the hormone boost that comes with my current state.

In a few weeks' time I'll be saying goodbye to my Hello Tomorrow family to prepare for Yohann's coming. I've set my mind on resigning from work so I could take care of the baby full-time; I couldn't imagine leaving Yohann for a day while he's still so little..I guess I just wasn't made to be a corporate mom. But, I can't deny the fact that sometimes I think of all the things at work that I'll miss -- my co-workers who've also become my friends, the stuff we do, the talk during lunchbreak, and lots lots more. Sometimes I look forward to the end of Feb, other days I dread it. Hay.

At the moment too, I'm unconsciously counting down the days til the little boy comes out..nakaka...praning? excite? takot? I don't really know. Of course I'm excited to finally see and hold Yohann, but I can't deny the fact that childbirth is on top of my fear factors. I've feared it since the day I first had my period. I try to fight it every day, I talk to Yohann and tell him that when the time comes, to be quick about it and try not to be too harsh on mummy; I ask him to please not make a surprise entrance, so that mummy and daddy will both be prepared to welcome him. Every day too, I pray about it. I ask God to please, please give me the courage to do it, to push the baby out, that every muscle and bone will cooperate to make a safe, normal delivery. I claim it, it's going to be a normal delivery. And it will be quick and easy. And I'll be out of the hospital in no time (this will be my first ever time to be hospitalized!). 

To ease my fear, I just look at the newborn pics of FB friends who recently gave birth. And then I'm teary-eyed naman. Looking at babies just has this effect on me. Even ultrasound pics can move me to tears :p I can't begin to explain how amazed I am at the concept of carrying life in your tummy and then birthing that life into this world. And hearing news, too, of abandoned babies and fetuses thrown carelessly just makes me weep. Pano nila nagagawa yon? 

Hay. Three more months...three more months and hopefully this kaleidoscope would settle into something more stable and constant. I know it will. :)

misis diaries 3

Adobong chicken

Adobong pork

Mais with malunggay

Bangus steak

Pinakbet

Paksiw na fish

Ginisang munggo

Chicken macaroni soup

Tinolang chicken

Poqui-poqui

Pork chop

Tortang talong

Tortang talong with tuna omelette

Chicken macaroni salad

Plain rice

Garlic fried rice

Vegetable salad

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Nope, hindi yan part ng menu ng fave resto ko, hindi rin yan ang listahan ng mga paborito kong pagkain. Listahan yan ng mga so far eh alam ko nang lutuin :D

I just recently discovered that I enjoy cooking. Sabi nga ni Meyms, cooking is therapeutic. Ang stressful lang is thinking of what to cook and what to buy pag asa palengke na. I tend to forget kasi what I need and then realize when I reach home na may nalimutan pala ako. But I found a way to avoid this -- bili na lang ako nang bili ng alam kong kakailanganin ko soon para di na ko makalimot :p

This morning I was watching a show that featured the many different ways of cooking sinigang, and I think that will be my next project. Mukang madali lang naman but I've never tried cooking it yet kasi I don't know what to put para umasim siya. Monmon kasi doesn't like using sinigang mix, he wants it old school. Eh saan naman ako hahanap ng sampaloc? Wala pa ko nakikita so far sa NGI market. Bahala na :p

Alamat na din sa family namin ang molo soup. Every time may get-together since I was a toddler and maybe even before pa, hindi pwedeng walang molo. It's easy naman to cook pero a little ma-effort to prepare. Imagine making siomai. And then you put it in a soup. Madali lang naman no? Tamad lang ako :p

Another one of my favorites is my ate's emobotido with tartar sauce. Yun ang ma-effort talaga. Haha. I'd like to learn how to make embotido din, but maybe reserve it just for special occasions lang. Hehe.

Lastly, Monmon's mom and my ate #2 make good chicken cordon bleu. Yummy to, lalo na with the sauce, yuuuummmm! I think Mon already knows how to make it, kaya sige ipaubaya ko na sa kanya ang pag-career dito. Hahaha. Bahala na lang ako sa white sauce :p

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Sorry puro food itech, obvious ba what my new hobby is? Cooking and eating :p 

A little kwento na lang, I'm now on my 6th month with bebe Yohann a.k.a Moymoy. I am now a whopping 135 lbs. and feeling chubby everywhere. I'm also manas especially sa hands and feet. My feet are normally swollen in the afternoon when I get tired from all the day's work, pero I just keep them up before sleeping and they feel better na. But my hands are a different case. Every morning I wake up with manhid hands, lalo na yung right one. They're puffy and parang dinikit sa ice for a long time, ganun ang feeling. It's hard for me now to grasp things, text long messages, hold the phone to my ear for a long time, cut things with a knife or scissors, and even take a bath. My right hand is often weak I can't use it as much as I used to. Ewan ko bakit, binigyan na ko ng OB ng vitamins for the nerves. I guess I'll just have to get used to it for a few more months.

 

- - - - -

I'm already counting the days 'til I resign from work. I have until end of Feb. na lang, and after that I'll be home everyday na. I can think of a lot of things to do, pero pag asa bahay na ko I can't do everything naman. Like the other day, I planned to clean the house, do the laundry and iron our clothes for the week. The only thing I did was clean downstairs and wash only half of the laundry. Oh well, I guess ok na rin yon so I won't run out of things to do pag nag-resign na ko. But, I still need to look for work that I can do at home. Help me pray that I find one soon :)

- - - - -

I'll be busy this year with a lot of kids -- my own and others included. Mader invited me to work again with the foundation and I'm excited to be back to where I used to be. I don't know yet exactly what I'll be doing but just being with the kids is enough to excite me. Naisip ko rin, this will be a good start for Yohann, habang bebe pa sha ma-expose na sha sa ministry with me. Hihi. Nakakatuwa lang.

- - - - 

Wala na kong ma-chika, next time ulit at manhid na my hands. Meryenda muna ako ha! :D 

Hello, 2011!

At the beginning of 2010, I wrote this:


And once more, I am amazed at how God fulfilled His promise. :)

I remember what brought about the post. Sal and I, as usual, were at the veranda the previous night, talking mostly about heartaches and what we wanted to see happening in our lives. Whenever talk turned to that topic, we would lift our eyes to heaven and exclaim, 'Looooord! Alam Niyo na po!!!' Hahaha!

And after that talk I remembered browsing through multiply posts and seeing Sarah's Day 1 photo of the day, a verse from the Bible which also happens to be my life verse. So I copied the pic and claimed it as an answer to our veranda moment.

Fast forward to today and I can definitely say God does answer prayers :)

He knew the plans He already laid out for me even from the beginning.

He knew what I wished for and decided that His will for me coincided with my desires (and vice-versa) and decided it is the right time to give them to me.

I, too, know that God has been orchestrating all the events of my life - from the mundane ones to the major ones - to bring me to where I am now.

I know that not only is He in control of my today, He already has the future mapped out for me.

So I leave the planning for 2011 to Him, believing in faith that all my worries and fears are inconsequential if I only trust in Him :)

Hello, 2011! :)